Keys to Dealing with Difficult People

Temperature check: Keep Your Cool 

• Benefits: The key is to remain calm and maintain self-controlled. This is good modelling behavior that can be advantageous. 
• How: The key here when dealing with difficult people is to maintain your composure; the less reactive you are, the more you can use your better judgment to handle the situation and not simply react from emotion 

Learn to SOAR 

• Benefits: Maintain peace of mind and reduce the risk of friction.  
• How: Always keep in mind that you cannot change someone that is negatively inclined. Unless it is something important or at stake, do not waste time in trying to convince a person. Whether you are dealing with a difficult colleague or an annoying relative, be diplomatic and keep a healthy distance.  

Be Proactive, Not Reactive 

• Benefits: Energy needs to be focused on problem solving.  
• How: When someone offends you with their words of actions, try to work on different ways to respond. For example, you may be tempted to think that your coworker is ignoring your messages rather than considering the possibility that she’s been very busy. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive their expressions more objectively. Widening our perspective on the situation can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding.   

Another way to reduce personalization is to try and view the situation from the other person’s perspective.  

Although empathy is important, it should not excuse unacceptable behavior. The key takeaway is to remind yourself that people do what they do because of their own issues. The main point is to focus on problem solving and handle situations in a reasonable and considerate manner. Remember, difficult behaviors from others say a lot more about them than they do about us.  

Resource:

How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People — 2nd Edition - https://nipreston.com/publications/excerpts/How_to_Handle_FINAL_2006-SAMPLE.pdf